Old Man McGillicuddy
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Post by Old Man McGillicuddy on Aug 23, 2010 19:48:35 GMT
An old man wanders into the building, and looks around. Spotting someone sitting at the desk, he shambles over.
"Hello? Yeah, so I was hiding out in the Kenefie Lane Police Department over in Chudleyton, tryin' to get healed up after some Zeds bushwhacked us over at the mall. You know the mall in Chudleyton is overrun with those damn flesheaters, dontcha? Anyways, a couple of us was holed up in the old KLPD building when these here two looneytics showed up and started shooting the place up! I hid under a desk, so I don't think they saw me, but I overheard 'em talkin. One of 'em was named Jacen Brazeau - claiming to be president of some gang called the Exclave....a rag-tag group of terrorists, no doubt about it. The other guy was named Savaer.
Anyway, these two get goofy as gadflies and start shootin' the place up, and then they walk over to this guy Toshi....now, I don't know nuthin about this here Toshi feller, but he was jest sitten there, doin his own thing.....and these fools walk up and start talkin all kinds of mess about Toshi. Somethin about slanderin a Exclave official...anyway, they draw down and pop a cap in him. Shot him dead in the face, sittin right there minding his own business! Can you imagine that? Then they tossed his carcass into the street.
Now that's not the worst of it. Once they were done with poor Toshi, these two smash up the generator and the radio transmitter. That Savaer fella said something about making sure everyone else was gonna die. I'm sure not havin a generator an' radio might have somethin to do with that. I mean, who do these two think they are, denyin the rest of us a generator an' radio?
Now, I dunno if I'm in the right place to be tellin you this, but it don't seem right that folks can jest be runnin around killin each other. I mean, we got the unholy livin dead out there to worry about; there's gotta be some laws or rules for those of us what still be alive. I heard you folks are kinda like the po-lice now....I mean, back in the old days, before the unholy liven dead rose from their graves, society wouldn'ta tolerated none of this foolishness. Them guys woulda got the rope....
Anyway, I hope I came to the right place. I've already got eyes in the back of my head lookin' fer shamblers; I don't need to be worryin about the livin killin me....."
Old Man McGuillicuddy wanders cautiously back outside, and into the streets.
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Post by arthurbirling on Aug 23, 2010 20:05:25 GMT
Officer Birling struggles out of his chair, donuts falling off his heaving chest
"I'm sorry sir, but we really can't do anything without a screenshot, you must understand it would just be your word against them. If you can provide us with a screenshot we'll get on it."
Officer Birling slumps backing into his creaking swivel chair and returns to his donuts.
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Post by Purple Cat on Aug 23, 2010 20:07:52 GMT
But we could bring emergency donuts!!!
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Post by davidhateley on Aug 23, 2010 21:03:46 GMT
This is the best PK report of all time.
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Post by MohawkDan on Aug 24, 2010 0:17:23 GMT
Thanks for the heads up, but without screenies there isnt much that can be done from our end. Might I suggest sleeping in unlit cinemas if you are worried for your safety. And remember, the best way to keep safe from zeds is to join up with other like minded players. Might I suggest the DHPD.
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Post by Officer S on Aug 24, 2010 3:38:24 GMT
A fairly tall officer meanders out of a back office
It is as Officer Birling and Officer Mohawkdan put it. We need screenshots to pursue this dasterdly fiend.
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Frank Castle
MIA
He who does not punish evil commands it to be done. - Leonardo da Vinci
Posts: 2,392
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Post by Frank Castle on Aug 24, 2010 8:22:11 GMT
Just read this, lol truly the best PK report of all time. Hope he decides to join us, this guy reeks of cool... and b.o.
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Post by oldmanmcgillicuddy on Aug 24, 2010 15:05:17 GMT
The old man comes stumbling back into the building, somewhat strained and a little out of breath. "gawdDAMMIT," he shouts, "they done it agin!" "I went back over to that there abandoned police station to see if'n them carnivorous spawns of Satan hisself had abandoned the mall so's I could scrounge up some more ammo, and maybe a genny to replace the one that them there terrorist bastards shot up yestiddy, and sure as hell they was back there agin! Someone musta revived that there Toshi fella, 'cuz he was up an around, but not tryin' to chew on nobody. The little one, calls hisself Savaer, he showed up an shot the poor bastard agin! I seen it with my own two eyes! I never seen the other one around this time, though. Look, you calls yerself the po-lice? You guys gotta do sumpthin' about that there Exclave gang, or else point me in the direction of someone who can....it ain't right that an honest man tryin' to survive has got to be breakin' the law and takin' things inta his own hands to be makin' things right....somebody's gotta make them accountable for what they done." The old man is visibly shaken with anger, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists tightly around his old sawn-down double-barreled shotgun until the knuckles turn white. He mumbles something under his breath about "back in my day...." before checking to make sure both barrels of Old Faithful have shells and heading back into the darkness. Attachments:
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Post by MohawkDan on Aug 24, 2010 15:53:14 GMT
I do understand your frustration Mr. Old Man, but I hope you understand the is only so much we can do. We've spent the last week trying to save the mall and in the process have expended a lot of our resources. I hope you also understand that in Malton martial law has taken over. Don't feel bad about taking matters into your own hands. If you feel that you lack the training or jurisdiction fret not for we can help you with that. Our police academy offers some of the most skilled officers in all of Malton. Beyond that I'm not sure how much more we can do for you. We will keep a look out for those guys, but we usually don't bother those that haven't bothered us. Have a good day.
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Post by Officer S on Aug 24, 2010 17:46:44 GMT
Officer S looks at the silver bars upon his uniform
Mohawkdan is our Public Relations Chief. He is speaking the truth. The fact of the matter, Mr. Mcgillicuddy is that after the outbreak we lost 75% of active duty Officers. The only reason we continue to still be around is because we find survivors, some weren't Officers before, some where. I can't tell you how many firefighters, soldiers, cops, and civvies are among our ranks now. My best advice to you, is join a group... Perhaps ours.
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Post by Purple Cat on Aug 24, 2010 18:29:57 GMT
Well technically we police all PKing within the DMZ. It's just that we don't normally get reports from the general public. But I'll certainly forward that screen grab on to the legal department, if no one else does...
And... err... I though we just found these here pretty badges. I thought DHPD casualties in the original outbreak were 100%
... and donuts obviously.
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Post by razi on Aug 25, 2010 13:53:34 GMT
don't let the desk jockeys fool ya, we'll keep an eye out for the villain and give 'em what for when we spot him.
if you need a revive (or a scotch), come drop us a line.
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Post by oldmanmcgillicuddy on Aug 25, 2010 18:05:44 GMT
You can hear the old man coming, swearing like a longshoreman, from about a half block away. "Fer Chrissakes, things is gettin' outta hand around here! All these here homicidal maniacs runnin' around, shootin' each other fer no good reason. It's like the whole world's gone batshit crazy! And nobody doin' nuthin' about it.... Listen, if'n you fellas are takin' recruits, then count me in. I may not look like much now, but I managed to spend 3 years in the stinkin' jungles of 'Nam and I ain't scared of no fight...not against no man, not against no demon spawn of Satan. I got my own guns..." - he pauses to glance down and to pat Old Faithful - "....and I knows how to use 'em. I'm a bit outta practice, but it's like ridin' a bike - once ya learn how, ya never forget. I got other skills....I'm pretty good at scroungin' things up - had to learn the hard way, 'cause the VA don't pay squat for a pension....can you believe that? I volunteered to spend 3 years of my life killin' Viet Cong in some stinkin southeast Asian hellhole and they can't even give me enough to keep my own house. An' it ain't like I was livin' in some damned mansion, either.... Lookie here...I been set up around that Kenefie Lane Police Department since I run outta my own supplies an' had to go scroungin'. There's lots of shenanigans goin' on 'round there. People figger they kin do what they want, when they want, to who they want, and that they're just gonna git away with it 'cause there ain't no one to stop 'em. Well no more! That ain't right. Wasn't right before the comin' of the Great Shamblin' Death, and it ain't right now. I seen another guy get popped today, for no good reason at all. That murderin' scumbag was even wearing some kinda disguise... s146.photobucket.com/albums/r244/jlchagnon/?action=view¤t=PK1.jpgs146.photobucket.com/albums/r244/jlchagnon/?action=view¤t=PK2.jpgSo that's it, then. If'n you all are willin' to have me, I'd be willin' to pitch in an' help where I can...."
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sam69
MIA
I am Jack's smirking revenge.
Posts: 2,908
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Post by sam69 on Aug 25, 2010 18:19:57 GMT
I think we just might have a job for you in Delta, Old timer. Once the higher ups give the go ahead. Look forward to killing scumbags with you soon!
As to this "Colonel" I'm not sure whether he's claining to be a bounty hunter or trying to make a name for himself and I don't much care. He's also added to my list.
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Post by ~BD~ on Aug 25, 2010 23:52:53 GMT
perhaps, my friend, you could explain why you have a tab open for The Big Bash in your screenshot?
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Post by Bill Turner on Aug 26, 2010 13:20:24 GMT
I'm sure our old friend here is merely doing what we all are: keeping an eye on them to see if they veer this way. Well Mr. McGillicuddy, let me welcome you to the DHPD. I'm Bill Turner, one of the three administrators of the board. We're not in charge but act more like custodians, making sure that everything runs smoothly and stays neat and tidy. You'll be placed in Omega Squad, where experienced Officers will help you scrounge up the supplies you need and give you some tips on the finer points of dealing with the undead. After you've got your bearings, we'll give you the option of joining one of our other squads. Best place to start out would be here.
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Post by oldmanmcgillicuddy on Aug 26, 2010 14:01:09 GMT
perhaps, my friend, you could explain why you have a tab open for The Big Bash in your screenshot? "Always important to know where the Zed are headed. Since I's by myself, or was, anyway, I was jest tryin' ta keep outta their way. I mean, if them damn flesheaters are gonna telegraph it to the world, y'all would be fools not to pay attention to it. The last time I almost got done in was in Saigon durin' Tet....all them stars n' bars jest assumed they know'd what them Viet Cong was up to. Paid a helluva price for our arrogance that time. Never agin', my friend. I got here from Gatcombeton, when them foul beasts of damnation was still in Yagotown; now I'm just tryin' to stay a step ahead of the game, if'n ya know what I mean. Anyways, I'll take y'all up on yer offer of joinin' that there Omega Squad; seems to me that strength in numbers is a helluva lot safer right now than tryin' ta go it alone, between the damn braineaters and the murderin' dirtbags out there....."
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Post by Officer S on Aug 26, 2010 16:47:35 GMT
Welcome aboard! I'm the Assistant Chief around these parts. You'll fit in fine around here.
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Post by ~BD~ on Aug 26, 2010 23:59:06 GMT
gotta love the strong RPer.
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Post by Space Tyrant on Aug 27, 2010 5:26:45 GMT
Welcome aboard McGillicuddy! Btw, you can leave your group tag as simply "Dunell Hills Police Department" -- we don't differentiate between officers and recruits out in the field.
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Post by MohawkDan on Aug 27, 2010 13:08:29 GMT
Aye, welcome aboard.
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Syphon
Trainee
The Black Hunter
Posts: 12
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Post by Syphon on Aug 30, 2010 2:06:51 GMT
"I went back over to that there abandoned police station to see if'n them carnivorous spawns of Satan hisself had abandoned the mall so's I could scrounge up some more ammo, and maybe a genny to replace the one that them there terrorist bastards shot up yestiddy, and sure as hell they was back there agin! Someone musta revived that there Toshi fella, 'cuz he was up an around, but not tryin' to chew on nobody. The little one, calls hisself Savaer, he showed up an shot the poor bastard agin! I seen it with my own two eyes! I never seen the other one around this time, though. Look, you calls yerself the po-lice? You guys gotta do sumpthin' about that there Exclave gang, or else point me in the direction of someone who can....it ain't right that an honest man tryin' to survive has got to be breakin' the law and takin' things inta his own hands to be makin' things right....somebody's gotta make them accountable for what they done." I had a feeling there would be a need to explain the circumstances. That's one of the downsides if you don't listen to radio broadcasts. So, here goes. I was spotted downing a noted zerg known as Artik41 and Artik4111, and someone, I still am not aware of who, told Toshi93 that I was a PKer and a GKer, and Toshi broadcasted the message to all of Darvell Hts. The result was an overzealous bountyhunter who neglected to check his rapsheets (I was bountiless as I am a zerg and text attacker killer) put a few rounds of buckshot in my face while I took a nap in a cinema. Corrective action required making a point, thus Toshi was confronted by myself and my boss, Jacen. He was executed for his blind actions and I destroyed the radio as penalty. jacen, on the otherhand felt the genny was a further cost for the slander as I cannot perform MY job while eating the munitions of upstanding police officers such as yourselves as well as the ammo of trenchcoaters. Fact is, Officer Sam69 I believe the man was called, elected to fire without inquiring to the details and slew myself and my mark, who I was going to report to resensitized for easier tracking by other zerg-hunters. Sir Sam not only caused that to fail by blowing my head off, but I was unable to acquire the necessary screenshot for reporting. While I understand fully that my actions in the PD were a tad... overzealous... I would appreciate if, at the least, should a DHPD member locate Artik41 or his other two known alts, Artik411 and Artik4111 that they at least make the report for me. Also with that, I inquire as to the duration of this warrant I have had branded to my hide. It was not visibly classed as a permanent warrant, but as i've been shot, and killed, by a DHPD member I wish to know if the warrant is fulfilled and i can carry out my job, or if i need to excercise other methods to perform my job. Thank you for whatever swift response you can provide.
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Post by arthurbirling on Aug 30, 2010 2:10:50 GMT
If you've been killed your warrant has been served.
And yes we have/are always trying to kill those zergs. These a part of a recent bunch. If you have any further problems with officers please let us know.
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Syphon
Trainee
The Black Hunter
Posts: 12
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Post by Syphon on Aug 30, 2010 2:16:14 GMT
Gladly, and thank you. I inquired because your wiki page seems to still have me listed for a warrant.
Happy hunting, and please, feel free to let me know if you have any other problem children around.
Also: the other PK report issued in this thread is a known killer, the victim is a known bountyhunter, a member of the Saints.
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Post by Jim Extreme on Aug 30, 2010 13:15:04 GMT
Savaer, our warrants are typically active for 45 days (or until Jim gets around to removing it), unless there are extenuating circumstances. I would normally let someone off the hook, given an explanation and the warrant having been served once.. But first, any explanation as to why zenburg of the MPD deserved death?And besides that, your wiki pretty much states that you're a PKer group. So, I'm gonna say.. no.
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