Status Report..

[Mr Yoshida]

This post was not made by a member of the DHPD, but by an impersonator. We are leaving it here for the record but wish to make it clear to any observer that none of the below is DHPD sanctioned in any way. - Purple Cat, DHPD Chief

Greetings fellow DHPD officers, Captain Yoshida here. I'm happy to inform you that my efforts to annex Yagoton and Crossman PD are going well. As of yesterday I have killed 3 SoC trespassers and 12 zombie spies in the greater Caiger Mall area.

I have begun recruiting efforts to expand and intensify our campaign against the inferior races as explained by my copy of the DHPD Operations and Guidelines Manunal: Full Spectrum Edition. So far I have recruited 6 people for my personal squad.

As outlined in my copy of our manual, I am moving to enact DHPD policy throughout the lands occupied by the inferior barbarians. So far my unit has killed 56 people in Nixbank, destroyed 23 generators, de-caded 11 buildings, smashed 17 radios, graffiti-ed 18 interiors. We aim to achieve a 35 a week head count by months end. I am instituting a reward system for officers who exceed their weekly quotas by at least 5%. Possible rewards include being whacked with Christmas trees.
As for the Land itself, we are proceeding ahead of Schedule with DHPD architectural plans. Nearly 70% of the suburb is abandoned or showing signs of decreasing habitation: Barricades at intermediate levels, very outdated graffiti, depressing messages (They're all dead, I'm leaving forever, This place is hell, etc) and very few survivors. All in all, I'm very proud to wear the DHPD badge and watch my subordinates doing the lord's work in malton.

We located Bobby last week, and tried our best to talk to him. Unfortunately he proceeded to die rather quickly, but not before we let him know just how much we appreciated his input. Thanks to him, we've started a Informant Network. Under the network those who cooperate with the DHPD are offered incentives and rewards. So far, we've expended quite a bit of ammo on and into our informants.

I would like to suggest we move to open hostilities with the DEM, I will be removing MCDU, MPD, and MFD from out sacred lands as I have recieved a anonymous tip that the DEM is not building monuments to our meritoriousness. We are the master race after all..

Hail to the Hills!


*I believe there is some confusion as what happened in Roywood, I came and I killed people (repeatedly, for like 6 days in a row- hiding within 4 blocks of the PD) in the name of the Master Race, Heaven/Dunnel Hills, and for the failure of the people to build a monument to the DHPD. Echojack was a zerger (at least by technical definition of the term, so I'm a good guy!) and he failed to build a monument to the DHPD. Echojack was one of the last people I killed up at Gerard PD, I even warned him repeatedly. I found him wounded and alone(I'd rather there were witnesses, but oh well- easy kills only come around so many times a week). It's ironic, the only time I didn't kill in front of a crowd or spew fascist rhetoric AND THATS THE TIME SOMEONE FINALLY NOTICES!!!

[arthurbirling]

Damn this guy puts deltato shame

[Space Tyrant]

Added to contacts as...red.

[~BD~]

I'll go ahead and speak the "company line on Yoshida and lock this thread.

Mr. Yoshida is not, and has never been, a DHPD officer. If you come here wishing to ask us to "explain ourselves" for his actions, all we can offer is that he is an impersonator, and we can control who puts on our tags just about as well as a man can control his bathroom urges with an enlarged prostate.

It is not that we are unsympathetic to anybody falling prey to this loser, it's just that short of performing a city-wide manhunt (not gonna happen since that's pretty much what this idiot wants), unless he starts dancing in our area of operations, we won't find him. Do yourselves a favor and merc him mercilessly- you'll find that he'll leave you alone rather quickly.

BD

This is a pre-recorded message.

Following a high volume of recent trolling activity the DHPD no longer responds in person to anonymous reports or requests. Please provide us with a point of contact (either an email, account on this forum where we can contact you, or an account on another forum).

If you have been killed or threatened by a DHPD member then please provide us with a screenshot and profile. We maintain a list of DHPD impersonators on the Urban Dead Wiki as part of our Most Wanted list which it may be profitable to check first. The DHPD has no interest in protecting those on its Most Wanted list. Your screenshot and profile links should ideally be PM'd to the following people: purplecat, commanderian, famzness, codeist

If you wish to appeal a warrant against you then please PM the following people: purplecat, codeist

If you wish to warn or threaten us about an imminent attack then we thank you. However please be aware that we operate in a dangerous area of town against a large and organised Zombie group. Unless the attack looks to be from a group of players of similar or greater size and organisation then we are unlikely to change our operations in any way as a result of your warning or threat. That said, all information is useful, and any evidence you may have about such a group, in terms of profiles of group members, or forums coordinating their activity should be sent to: purplecat, commanderian, famzness

If you wish to make demands that members of the DHPD meet you in a secret location, ritually disembowel themselves, cease all activity or similar then we recommend you do so in a humorous fashion. If you, in all seriousness, feel that DHPD activity is ruining your life or making you fear for it, then we'd like to suggest you step back from the Urban Dead game for a bit and get things into perspective.

All further communication on this subject should be taken to PM with purplecat. All further posts in this thread will be removed.